Monday, October 13, 2008

With my eyes closed I can see you more clearly.

Your voice moves me

The way our conversation flows is soothing

I'd stay up all night listening to your sweet melody so

That I can drift into a deep sleep

And I know then, that everything is perfect

In dreams I can express to you emotions your presence brings me

I can gaze at you forever just in case, at any moment, I might lose my sight

There are no distractions because it's all unreal.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

progression

Her cheeks flushed as if of a fever, there was a tremble in her movement, and a striking, no, an abrupt feeling in her heart. Like a pulse, the feeling reoccured over and over again. Was she nervous? Were the sounds around her too overwhelming to bear? She began to wonder if she was a strong enough person to handle something as simple as being in the presence of people she didn't know. The public, people who most likely mean nothing at all to her in the future. If she couldn't overcome this engulfing feeling in the presence of these people than how could she ever be a capable of silencing it in the presence of peope who could quite possibly determine the direction of her whole life.
She sat, pensive, the morning had brought her such great pleasure in a thrilling moment where she had no control of her surroundings. She both feared it and loved it. She wouldn't describe it as pleasure, but more of an exhilerating feeling of fear that she would most likely never forget. Not wanting to focus on the people around her, she endulged herself in this memory hoping that would make the feeling she was feeling now more bearable since that feeling was so close to this one. Then, she realized that earlier she had blamed that feeling on the lack of melodies in her ear for covering them up. It was as if an electronic device could shield her from the things she feared the most, sitting in this place right now proved her wrong because there was music playing and it didn't sooth her at all. If anything it made her nerves run more savagely.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It doesn't come any easier.

They say I live to break hearts
They say I don't care what's wrong or right
They say I could never have emotions
They say I'ma bitch with no purpose in life

I have to say who's they
What is it that they know
I say they haven't seen me hurt
And they haven't seen me grow
They'll never know my thoughts or my intentions
Or the way I am way too analytical for redemption
They'll never understand why I am so cold
My story has become too long and full of lies to be told

So, without hesitation,
to you I'd say

"I live to break hearts
I don't care what's wrong or right
I could never have emotions
I'ma bitch with no purpose in life"

Because I'm just too lazy and
it's just so much easier that way


That was a sudden spurt of creativity that I had today, it felt really good to write something new. I hope I can keep it up.

I'm in love with a new man.

His name is Justin Nozuka. His voice is insane, not too mention he's pretty cute too. Any man who can make me feel a knot in my throat and my hairs stand on end by strumming strings on a guitar and singing like an angel is definately something extremely special. I'd also like to add that there are very few, few people who I actually enjoy hearing live instead of recorded and edited. I'm amazed by him, seriously. Just listen.

?_?

Wow it's been a while since I've posted a blog. I was thinking about that this morning when I was procrastinating all the things I should have already done and should be doing now. I know why I haven't been posting blogs and it's really been bothering me lately. So many questions have been boiling in my mind for the past few weeks. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. I spoke to Oly and as always she has such wise words. She made me realize a few things that I feel are really going to help me right now. It's really hard. That's all I have to say.