This is probably the worst time to post this..

Written months ago...
"Father"
All the pain you've caused me from day one
My mother is a part of me, no not partially, but fully
So the day you broke her for your own selfish needs you broke me too
I was only 1 or 2
I wasn't old enough to make a choice
You were scared to let me make a choice, but look at what you did
Now my choice will never be you
I've felt my moms tears on my shoulder
I've hears her wimpers while she holds me
You never wanted a wife and a daughter
You only wanted slaves that will never leave you lonely
Because They. Have. No. Choice.
Well I have a choice now
Karma brought up the person that I am, to you, from hell
Oh, can't you tell father?
That you played your devilish games and now they've come back to haunt you
These games you knew so well now I know
And I know how to make you wish you had never fought for me so hard knowing you were breaking my mother's heart with every lie you told

Then I got older, father, but not old enough to understand that what you did to me was abuse
No you never were a pedophile, but you abused me worse
With each blow to my body and mind
You wanted to take away my strength, you wanted to take away my voice
But even with your hands wrapped around my neck
And me to the point of seeing black, not a breath left within my tiny chest
You couldn't take the fight in me away
Every day you yelled so hard at me I could feel your spit on my face I grew numb
Because I already comprehended that I was a "dumb bitch" and "a piece of shit" the 1,001st time you told me
You didn't love, you hit, I was an animal to you
Helpless since you suppressed my voice by telling me you'd "end the life you started" before the cops could even get here
So I wouldn't touch a phone even if my mom was on the other line unless you weren't home or you touched it first
You wanted to hurt me, you wanted to see me in pain
Just like every other person who didn't obey your rules
Because it was "your way or the highway"
You killed him you know, you're father
And my only true love
The only person who loved me most
Loved me so much he'd die for me
And die for me he did, I'm sure he didn't want it to be so soon
But see, I had to learn to not be afraid of you
All. By. Myself

Do you know who I am today father?
Because I don't
The only thing I know is that I expect an apology from every person who comes into contact with me
I want them to feel pity on me, the poor victim I'll always be
The only words I've never heard from you mouth
Give me your sympathies for everyone you've hurt
But right. We don't deserve it
I beg it, but you're too proud for that
Aren't you?
I want to see you yell those words until your face turned blue because its never a problem when the words are what you want them to be

And I know I'm partially to blame
Because the only thing we've shared these days is a last name
And part of me doesn't even want that much relation to you
Father
What's in this title you held the day you bore me?
What shouldn't I expect if I want more than what's before me? What can you do father?
Ill never be satisfied
My cries will never end and my ties to pain will never end
Because I won't let them
Until your heart dies, but father I'm not sure you've ever had a heart
Because to have a heart you have to care about someone other than yourself
I guess that makes me heartless, too
If you're my one and only father and I don't even care about you
That's our biggest relation father
We have no heart, we're monsters
Soulless beings, you and me
You want something to brag about to your friends?
Tell them I'm just like you, I don't deserve love just like you told me everyday you placed a closed fist upon me and through me you're monstrous legacy lives
I am your kid, you're daughter, but I promise I won't let you live even when you're alive
You won't live within me when you die
I'll let you be gone forever, so don't boast too much father
Don't be so proud of what you achieved when you made me
Because you could never face me and say I'm sorry