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Happyness

"It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?"

- The Pursuit of Happyness

New Year's Resolutions.

1. Get into college.

2. Redefine myself.

3. Rid myself of all negative people and vibes in my life.

4. Be optimistic.

5. Dream big.

6. Be Free.

7. Always check on my ESP. (Emotional, Spiritual, Physical)

8. Show my family the appreciation they deserve especially my mother.

9. Learn a new sport.

10. Love myself, dependent not needed.

11. Focus/ Work on my memory.

12. Take a Yoga or Pilates class.

13. Lose 15lbs.

14. Get License.

15. Do something worth really remembering.

16. Have a magical kiss.

17. Wear Heels for no reason at all.

18. Keep room clean for atleast a month.

19. Cook dinner everyday for atleast two weeks.

20. Learn a new recipe.

21. Maintain a healthy diet.

22. Maintain a healthy excersise regiment.

23. Become almost completely independent.

24. Make the first move.

25.
more coming...

playlist part 1

RIP Verdery Knight

You didn't have to be her best friend to know that she was destined for greatness. Whether you knew her or didn't know her at all in Banneker, things like this really opens your eyes. Life is short, while your alive leave your mark; Verdery definately did. She was a sweet, beautiful, young woman with a truly successful future ahead of her and now she's gone, but not forgotten. As Deanne said, when class of '09 graduates come June, Verdery will be there with us in spirit, graduating right along with us. I've been sitting here trying to find the perfect words or word to describe her without sounding cliche, but none define her, she had always been her own, undefinable. Verdery you were one of the most sweetest and talented people I've met, you will be missed.


I have more to say, collecting the words is the problem. More to come.






It's true what they say, the good do die young.

RIP VERDERY KNIGHT

Amy Winehouse

This woman never seems to let me down. Her vocals, her style, the way she plays guitar, everything she does is amazing. Her music is soothing and she has one of my favorite voices in music. I could care less about any drug problems, she has a gift.

He's the smartest smart ass I know.

[00:25] RIOT!: Love is not a losing game
[00:25] no G please xD: i wouldn't know
[00:25] RIOT!: Love is a straight up five finger death punch
[00:26] RIOT!: lmao
[00:26] no G please xD: lol i like that

Hemlock

Different time, same place
She's walking by, no one exists
You don't exist, she can't see you
Little Miss Hemlock
Confidence radiates from her skin, her walk
You reach to touch, she's gone
You speak and her lips move, a voice exits parted lips
She doesn't look at you, you don't exist
Everyday, different time, same place
Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter
Hemlock can't see you, Hemlock won't see you
She won't hear you, only a voice exits parted lips
A polite response, but she's surreal
Untouchable, she almost doesn't exist
It's almost as though she doesn't want to exist
You suggest that it's cockiness
She suggests nothing at all
Hemlock is the coldest thing on the block
Yet you can't help but sweat when she's around.

With my eyes closed I can see you more clearly.

Your voice moves me

The way our conversation flows is soothing

I'd stay up all night listening to your sweet melody so

That I can drift into a deep sleep

And I know then, that everything is perfect

In dreams I can express to you emotions your presence brings me

I can gaze at you forever just in case, at any moment, I might lose my sight

There are no distractions because it's all unreal.

progression

Her cheeks flushed as if of a fever, there was a tremble in her movement, and a striking, no, an abrupt feeling in her heart. Like a pulse, the feeling reoccured over and over again. Was she nervous? Were the sounds around her too overwhelming to bear? She began to wonder if she was a strong enough person to handle something as simple as being in the presence of people she didn't know. The public, people who most likely mean nothing at all to her in the future. If she couldn't overcome this engulfing feeling in the presence of these people than how could she ever be a capable of silencing it in the presence of peope who could quite possibly determine the direction of her whole life.
She sat, pensive, the morning had brought her such great pleasure in a thrilling moment where she had no control of her surroundings. She both feared it and loved it. She wouldn't describe it as pleasure, but more of an exhilerating feeling of fear that she would most likely never forget. Not wanting to focus on the people around her, she endulged herself in this memory hoping that would make the feeling she was feeling now more bearable since that feeling was so close to this one. Then, she realized that earlier she had blamed that feeling on the lack of melodies in her ear for covering them up. It was as if an electronic device could shield her from the things she feared the most, sitting in this place right now proved her wrong because there was music playing and it didn't sooth her at all. If anything it made her nerves run more savagely.

It doesn't come any easier.

They say I live to break hearts
They say I don't care what's wrong or right
They say I could never have emotions
They say I'ma bitch with no purpose in life

I have to say who's they
What is it that they know
I say they haven't seen me hurt
And they haven't seen me grow
They'll never know my thoughts or my intentions
Or the way I am way too analytical for redemption
They'll never understand why I am so cold
My story has become too long and full of lies to be told

So, without hesitation,
to you I'd say

"I live to break hearts
I don't care what's wrong or right
I could never have emotions
I'ma bitch with no purpose in life"

Because I'm just too lazy and
it's just so much easier that way

That was a sudden spurt of creativity that I had today, it felt really good to write something new. I hope I can keep it up.

I'm in love with a new man.

His name is Justin Nozuka. His voice is insane, not too mention he's pretty cute too. Any man who can make me feel a knot in my throat and my hairs stand on end by strumming strings on a guitar and singing like an angel is definately something extremely special. I'd also like to add that there are very few, few people who I actually enjoy hearing live instead of recorded and edited. I'm amazed by him, seriously. Just listen.

?_?

Wow it's been a while since I've posted a blog. I was thinking about that this morning when I was procrastinating all the things I should have already done and should be doing now. I know why I haven't been posting blogs and it's really been bothering me lately. So many questions have been boiling in my mind for the past few weeks. I just don't want anyone to get hurt. I spoke to Oly and as always she has such wise words. She made me realize a few things that I feel are really going to help me right now. It's really hard. That's all I have to say.

Light the Night Walk 2008 Please help me to raise donations

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnNewYo/2449_ashleysaves

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnNewYo/2449_ashleysaves

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnNewYo/2449_ashleysaves

"Please visit my Light The Night Walk homepage. Light The Night is the nation’s night to pay tribute and bring hope to thousands of patients battling blood cancers and to commemorate loved ones lost.

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) funds lifesaving cancer research that has contributed to major advances in the treatment of blood cancers and many other types of cancer treatments, such as chemotherapy and stem cell transplants, that have helped patients live better, longer lives. New targeted therapies that kill cancer cells without harming normal tissue are providing drugs and procedures that are improving the quality of life.

Please make a donation to support my participation in the Light The Night Walk and help save lives.Be sure to check my Web site frequently to see my progress, and thanks for your support! "

Just too hard

It's hard to believe
How much I feel myself holding back
I'm scared of you despite your efforts to show a side of you
I bring, that
you yourself say you have never seen before

If all the joy in the world could be put simply in a sentence
I'd say it to you
If all the feelings I feel with you could quite simply be a song
I'd dedicate it to you
I'd sing it to you
Hoping that my not-so-melodic voice would still bring you the same happiness
And prove to you the same point
I've felt, in every form of the word,
Warmth
Your sweetness rubs off onto me
Making me want to be better
More tolerable for both your sake and mine
And I'm sure that I'll never find someone who understands me quite so well
I can be myself, without hesitation
And I'm embracing an unfamiliar feeling
I hope my heart never stops racing when you speak to me
I hope this warmth is never released from my chest
You are love at your best
The motivation I need to want to be, to want to feel positive
And I'm positive that this will never be enough
No words could show how tough it is
How rough it is
To not posess enough words to describe the greatest feeling in the world.

i have the best boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

he searched and searched and found this video that i had been longing for for soooo soooo long, i can't even begin to tell you how muhc i wanted this video and he found. Ugh, i love you<3

This poem is pure excellence.

J is for jealousy

There are so many doubts within myself
that are keeping me from you.
Doubt comes along with jelousy.
I'm sorry for the lack of pre-warning,
but would you have seen me differently
if you had know that I am deeply bothered by your lack of differentiation between words to females when you're single and when you're with me?
Granted, I'm sensitive, But I'm holding in things
to keep you from running away.
I want to keep you close to my heart,
keep you in close range.
So I won't let you know the meaning behind it
the feeling behind it
the feeling I should be feeling when you say
I'm "beautiful"
is never going to feel as good as it should
as good as it would
if I had never seen you say it to plenty of girls just like me.

Well it's officially the last day of summer...

and it's ending right before my eyes. I'm back from Virginia a.k.a paradise and back into the sultry streets of Brooklyn. There's so much I'd like to write but I'm not really in the mood to begin on how much I learned in Virginia in so little time(I'll save it for tomorrow possibly). So I'm going to commence my senior year blogging with a conversation with me and a good friend of mine, Ishmael, about a few physical modifications I've made this summer and how they would affect this year (AND I guess you could say the rest of my life.)

"ish boo": So I see what you mean, you'll get hate and criticism from others.
no G please xD: yeah of course, i'm ready for it though
"ish boo": well it'll be a good test, cuz u know, majority of ppl our age are obsessed with what others think.
"ish boo": So to live the idea of, "I don't give a fuck" and mean it will be a great thing.
no G please xD: yes i am trying SO HARD to change that about myself
no G please xD: lol word im really tryin to change become more mature
no G please xD: because a mature individual doesnt need the approval of others or let their opinions discourage them from something they like or believe in
"ish boo": indeed.
no G please xD: yeah well Class of 09' here i come

RELIGION IS BULLSHIT.

It's been a minute, but I'm in virginia on vacation and I was told to watch this and I find it hilarious, so hilarious I took time out of my vacation to post it. It's a must see and it explains some of my views.

"If you do not change what you are doing today then tomorrow will be no different than yesterday" -PBSC