Thursday, July 31, 2008

I needed my younger sister to know this.

“There are two traits in this world that can make a person ugly no matter how beautiful they are and that is envy and conceit.”
— Ashley Deana

** The story behind it may be too personal to post.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

finally some truth.

"obbers !": but let me find out u a lil playa
no G please xD: lmao how
"obbers !": got the mind of a nigga
no G please xD: lmaoo
"obbers !": i see u daddy
no G please xD: wait
no G please xD: what you talkin about
"obbers !": lol nothing nvm
no G please xD: lmao nah
no G please xD: tell mee please
"obbers !": lol that u a playa n got the mind of a nigga
no G please xD: no im not lmao he told you that?
"obbers !": lol u dont? denying it now?
no G please xD: nah i got the mind of a dude but in what way are you sayin
no G please xD: im just not a playa !
no G please xD: lmao
"obbers !": lol theres only one way
"obbers !": n its the mind of a nigga!
no G please xD: nah theres more then one
no G please xD: lmao
"obbers !": nah
"obbers !": lol only one
no G please xD: your saying all guys are the same then?
"obbers !": of course
no G please xD: uhhhhaaa
no G please xD: lmao
no G please xD: deadass/
no G please xD: ?*
"obbers !": yeah
no G please xD: the first guy to admit
no G please xD: it
no G please xD: its getting blogged !
"obbers !": lol i keep it real
"obbers !": but the beauty of it all is people can change
"obbers !": niggas can change
no G please xD: hmm iono about that
"obbers !": they can
"obbers !": by the way u describe ur guys
"obbers !": u just get w. the rong niggas!
no G please xD: word

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

"Always clean out your hair brushes"

Mami always told me that. Good hygiene, right? But I never did that. Before you say "ew!", hear me out, I always bought new brushes. If a brush was getting old or full of hair, I'd just put it to the side and tell mom or dad I need a new one. I'd have countless numbers of congruent brushes. The old brushes would just stand by and watch as I used the new brush. Occasionally, if I couldn't find the new brush, I'd use an older one, but not for long. Sometimes, I'd lose a brush in the clutter and rush of my room. Eventually, when I'd clean up my room I'd find the old brush and put it right on the counter with all of the other brushes, new and old.

Recently, I found that I have over a dozen brushes and I use them all when I can't find my newest one. I decided to clean them ALL off and I saw that I never let them get messed up before I throw them to the side. That's when I realize, I treat my love life like I treat my brushes. I never deal with problems that bother me, I just simply replace the person I'm having problems with with a new person. I don't even tell the person I'm talking to that I'm thinking of moving on, I just do it. You know how all relationships or "special friendships" start off all bubbly and sweet, but eventually just go down hill. Once I feel the slightest loss of butterflies, I get bored, I move on. I don't ever deal with the mess I make. I don't even take the other person's feelings into consideration either, I do the same things and show the same displays of affection. Don't get me wrong, sometimes the guys deserve it, you guys are too shady, but there were a few times where I could and may have broken a heart.

There were the guys who played so much games with me that I decided to find someone else knowing that from them I'd find someone else. My biggest flaw is my need for companionship, so if I'm not getting it from one source I'm sure to find a new one and quick. There were the guys who, like my brushes, would get lost in the rush and clutter of my life. Those were the kind who felt as though they'd always have you there because you'd keep on coming back. I'm guilty of this, I'm sure almost every women has been once or twice in their lifetime. Those guys never get thrown out, they're just idle along the side of your mind waiting to pounce on you when your most vulnerable. They don't want you when they have you, but when they can't you are such a treasure. Your not valuable enough to ride shotgun, just valuable enough to grasp tightly on the roof of the car.

The great thing about new guys is how they make you feel, at first. This explains the name of my blog. Men have great, great "G" or "game" to run on you. They all claim they're being real, they all claim they won't change, and they all claim that you are or will be very important in their life. Then reality throws a cold bucket of water on you and you wake up. That's when you need a new one to feed you the lies you hear over and over again. Hey, it's enjoyable for the moment.

Anyway, so today I thought to myself, "What if I said I think I'm going to throw away all my brushes and settle down with just one good, loyal brush? The one that really gets my kinks out on bad hair days. I'm going to clean that brush, take good care of it, and ride it out until it may eventually need replacing. What's the worst that could happen? I need to buy a new brush? Honey, I was waisting to much time and money looking for new brushes all the time in the first place."

I just need someone who isn't afraid of me.



Can you find it inside yourself to let me in?


I'm sure there's room enough for the both of us since you only open up every now and then


And if I stepped inside would I find cobwebs overshadowing who you really are?


Would I find a flame fueled by anger and pain?


Would our aim be similar?


Tell me your target because although my mind wanders free, I keep my heart on a short leash.


You've already breached my barriers.


Consent or no consent,


The shield I've kept up in fear of battle you've lowered and you've taken off my armor.


Now I'm aiming to fill your days and nights with joy.


Whisper in the darkness no more, I've come to hear your voice.


I'm sure that things have gotten lonely, but not exactly to the point of sorrow.


Either way, I'm squeezing in, hoping that even in pain I've caused you'd look to me for a remedy,


That even in clouds I've brought you'd still search for sunshine in my smile,


Even in lies I've told, you'd still find truth in my eyes,


And when the world seems to be falling apart,


we'd still be floating in starry skies.


How sweet crushes can be, but love means surpassing whole new levels of sadness.


Madness just isn't the word to describe how absurd our love would most likely be.


I just need someone who isn't afraid of me.


- Lali