My day with chuchi so far.

Calvin: "I typed in Ashley/sexylady.com and this came up."

::: Shows me a picture of me ::::

<3

and then he sticks his finger up his butthole smells it and says
"Mmm.. tastes like chocolate!"

Seven year olds smh.

So then he puts on my jeans and puts a belt on so we tell him to roll up the pants.
Then Kelso goes, "He doesn't even have to roll them up that much" -________-

how funnyyyyy -____-

Needy for male attention aren't we?

I found out something interesting today. I'm not going to get into details, I'm just going to say when does a female wanting full male attention on her go too far? Why is it that if attention switches to me just for a little it's a huge problem, people start crying themselves to sleep, yet can have a smile on they face when they know I'm feeling down? This is why I'm loving life right now because if I don't love it, who the hell else is going to do it for me. I can't trust anyone anymore and it's not like this is new to me, but damn, couldn't have been better proven today.

Since I'm on the subject of guys, lately, I find myself going out with a couple of them. No better way to describe this then, "Womp, womp, womppp!"

and then my ex told me this today, and he couldn't have said it better,

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:20 PM): ur mad cruel

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:25 PM): n blunt

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:32 PM): ugh

no G please xD (5:44:31 PM): lol thats meeee :)

Thanks John, I always knew you get me. ;)

Back to what I was saying, I don't want to date! I want to hang out, chill, maybe kiss, maybe not. Like all girls, I just want to have fun. Wheres the excitement? Where's the adventure? Wheres the playing tag in West 4th street train station? (Oh, maybe that's just a me and Flavi thing) I'm seriously giving up on dating or hanging out with guys, you're all the same. Shutup, you are! Anddd you know it because I'm convinced that you each sit there and watch other guys and what they do and adapt them to your own in a quest to become the biggest asshole you possibly can. Don't like it? Hate me. Click the x at the right corner of your screen if you can't handle it hun.

So then Jeff Ims me...

legends1one (6:11:37 PM): I wonder about you sometimes
no G please xD (6:11:42 PM): lol why
legends1one (6:13:24 PM): Because you always say that you don't need a man in your life now. So what do you do for pleasure and fun? Girls..?
no G please xD (6:13:39 PM): im not into sexual activitieslol
no G please xD (6:13:45 PM): i just like kissing
no G please xD (6:13:51 PM): so thats the only thing im missing right now
no G please xD (6:14:05 PM): and i have guy friends that i go out and have fun with
no G please xD (6:14:13 PM): i dont need someone in my life to have fun
legends1one (6:15:06 PM): I know that.
legends1one (6:15:11 PM): I was just a lil curious about what you say connected to sexual activity.
legends1one (6:19:26 PM): Well how much can someone really get out kissing. There's only so much.
no G please xD (6:19:38 PM): i dont need much more
legends1one (6:22:23 PM): Hmm ok.
legends1one (6:24:38 PM): Sounds like your very content with your lifestyle
no G please xD (6:25:45 PM): lol i am
no G please xD (6:25:47 PM): im happy

legends1one (6:26:30 PM): That's good. As long as your happy.
no G please xD (6:27:50 PM): word

The sad thing is I'm a really, really sweet girl with a lot to offer, I just can't show that side of me to anyone because they'll take advantage of it. Deep down, I definately want something real (Someday, not now). I want to have someone who I wake up each morning thinking about and go to bed at night smiling because I know I have them. Someone who I can look to for support and understands when I need space. Someone who won't smother me or confuse themselves with being my father. Someone I can take long walks with while having long conversations or saying nothing at all. Someone I can be a corn around, comfortably. Someone who will play video games with me even though I suck and tickle me when I'm being a sore loser. Someone who can handle my random outburts, brain farts, and need for attention. Someone who I can take to a party and will dance with me and enjoy the night. Someone who I can bring home. Who will just sit back and listen to music with me and let me sing to them even though my voice sucks and sing to me even if their voice sucks. Who will stay on the phone for hours with me, but also accept when I want to get off. Who will send me little nothing texts that mean the world. Someone who will sit with me and barnesnnobles and read something or listen to music while I read even if they hate reading. Who will take interest in my interest and I will do the same. Who will trust me. Someone who won't play games with my emotions and will understand how long it takes me to open up and show any emotions at all. Who knows just where and when I want to be touched. Knows what hurts me and the lines not to pass. Knows that I can be a big bitch and knows thats when I need them the most. Who I can have petty arguements with and hang up on and will call me back saying something funny or sweet even when I'm the wrong one. Who will do something completely boring that doesnt interest them at all just because they know it's something I want to do. Who wants to show me off to their friends and isn't afraid to say "This is my girl and I'm most definately whipped", with a smile on their face (okay I ODed a little ;] ). Who will kiss me on my cheeks, nose, ears, and most importantly forehead, and play my little kissing games. Who will hold onto my hand or pull me close for no reason at all. Who won't force me into anything sexual and will form a bond with me thats beyond sex, but also someone who can please me sexually. Someone who I have a real attraction to. Who I can go out on plentiful dates with to places like the bowling alley, movies, restaurants, roller skating rinks, arcades, amusement parks, and more. Who will do little romantic things I wouldn't expect like bringing me flowers or cooking for me or just renting movies they know I love and stay at home and watch them with me. Who would never intentionally hurt me or lie to me and would never put their hands on me in more than a play fighting way. Someone who's just ready to hold me down and let me do the same for them. Someone who will let me be everything they need (or atleast try my best to be) as well. There's so much more, but to sum it up I must emphasize the point of something REAL.

Unfortunately, I guess I ask for a lot and these are some things no one thus far has been able to offer me, so for the time being, I'm living with a permanent smile on my face and I'm laughing away time. I make ME happy :) I love me. Point blank.

25 facts de moi.

There's a whole bunch of rules that came along with this, but I'm just doing it cause I feel like it. If you read, Enjoy. ;)

*note: after I posted this, I realized how I stated a lot of depressing facts lmao So I'm going to do a 25 happy facts another day...

1. I am convinced that I will one day be the wife of Dane Cook or Hugh Laurie.
2. I am dying to get into stonybrook univ. even though on the inside i know i will not be accepted.
3. I really really want to excersise and lose weight but i feel like its impossible because i hate the thought of working out yet love the feeling once im doing it.
4. I have so many complex thoughts that I speak too quickly and change subjects without warning (im keeping this one from the person i took this from cause its true about me)
5. I am a completly erratic person and i can be a million people in one day.
6. When it comes to relationships I have the mentality of male.
7. I contradict myself 24/7
8. I really wish i had stayed in dance classes into my teenage years.
9. I can be really slow, and i have the attention span of a 2 year old.
10. I'm a klutz (keeping this one too)
11. I hate the size of my feet hands arms and breasts, they're completely opposite -_-
12. I am probably the most indecisive person you will ever meet but im good at pretending i know exactly what i want.
13. I am currently celibate and really do not find sexual activities pleasurable.
14. I'm brutally honest. (keeping this one too)
15. I love my family more than you ( diddo)
16. My mother can be both my best friend and worst enemy but i love her and speak to her about everything.
17. I have chronic headaches and aches period.
18. Im full of energy,
19. yet i'm completely lazy
20. I think i have a chemical imbalance of the brain which i have received genetically.
21.I always feel like i don't have enough money, i wish money didn't exist or everyone constantly had the same amount which is completely illogical, but i still wish it :/
22. I wish i was born in the the 1940s or 50's, so i could be a pin-up or atleast experience chivalry.
23. I will someday publish all of my stories and poems and hope for them to one day affect someone in a positive way.
24. I want to fall in love, real love.
25. Re-inventing myself is a hobby, I believe the body and personality of a person should be considered a canvas waiting to be painted into something different each time and you can start over whenever you like without restriction.

Life's good.

OmG itz Me NaTii (9:49:15 PM): y u cheesin so much?
no G please xD (9:49:34 PM): cause im happy
no G please xD (9:49:36 PM): life is good
no G please xD (9:49:40 PM): even when its bad
no G please xD (9:49:41 PM): lol
no G please xD (9:49:48 PM): thats my new way of thinking
OmG itz Me NaTii (9:49:53 PM): y is it so good?
OmG itz Me NaTii (9:49:59 PM): okie dokie then lol
no G please xD (9:50:03 PM): cause at least i have a life
no G please xD (9:50:13 PM): and im fortunate in so many ways
no G please xD (9:50:16 PM): im grateful for it
OmG itz Me NaTii (9:50:16 PM): true dat homeslice

Subtle and true.

"How hard is it to believe that I'm here for you?" He looked into her eyes his red from fustration, just shy of anger, but his eyes still begged for acceptance. He was holding the pinky of her left hand now, trying to keep her in reach as she turned away. Tears swole her eyes, but were held back by what seemed to be an imaginary sheild of air. She couldn't cry, not now. She was too strong a girl to be considered weak. She looked at him with no emotion besides the swollen eyes which suggested pain.
"Really?" He said, "Thats it? I have no chance of proving it to you?" He released her hand and she stood looking at him. "You're really going to pretend this never happened?" No response, She blinked. "Fine."
He began to walk away and she could feel words coming, but they wouldn't leave her mouth. They barely escaped the clutch of her throat and got stuck at the tip of her tongue blocked instantly by her teeth. He turned back to look at her and stopped. The loud roar of a train could be heard clearly. He still didn't face her. The train sped closer and soon its lights could be seen from inside the tunnel and she glanced at it. He turned around and walked back close enough to her to smell her sweet perfume. She looked down at her feet as the loud muffling followed by the train's horn crowded her ears. She looked up ino his expressive eyes and the sounds departed. The train passed now and the only reason she knew this was true was because a swift wind cupped her cheek and lifted her hair. She could hear nothing and she could only see his eyes, his lips, the tiny birthmark adjacent to his right eyebrow. She could only feel the emotions beaming from within his light chestnut skin. She touched his cheek, the arguement was over and the feeling, mutual.

it's the feeling I get in my chest.

When I'm writing, time flies. I don't see or hear or feel anything else, I'm at ease. Everything is peaceful no matter how caotic my surroundings are. It's my remedy, I feel it in my heart. Cheesy, but true ♥

the war is over

"How hard is it to believe that I'm here for you?" He looked into her eyes his red from fustration, just shy of anger, but his eyes still begged for acceptance. He was holding the pinky of her left hand now, trying to keep her in reach as she turned away. Tears swole her eyes, but were held back by what seemed to be an imaginary sheild of air. She couldn't cry, not now. She was too strong a girl to be considered weak. She looked at him with no emotion besides the swollen eyes which suggested pain.
"Really?" He said, "Thats it? I have no chance of proving it to you?" He released her hand and she stood lookin at him. "You're really going to pretend this never happened?" No response, She blinked. "Fine."
He began to walk away and she could feel words coming, but they wouldn't leave her mouth. They barely escaped the clutch of her throat and got stuck at the tip of her tongue blocked instantly by her teeth. He turned back to look at her and stopped. The loud roar of a train could be heard clearly. He still didn't face her. The train sped closer and soon its lights could be seen from inside the tunnel and she glanced at it. He turned around and walked back close enough to her to smell her sweet perfume. She looked down at her feet as the loud muffling followed by the train's horn crowded her ears. She looked up ino his expressive eyes and the sounds departed. The train passed now and the only reason she knew this was true was because a swift wind cupped her cheek and lifted her hair. She could hear nothing and she could only see his eyes, his lips, the tiny birthmark adjacent to his right eyebrow. She could only feel the emotions beaming from within his light chestnut skin. She touched his cheek, the arguement was over and the feeling, mutual.

Kelsey loves asians!

Again in the kitchen, talking about this asian guy.

Me: "Kelsey, you'd love him right? He's asian."
Kelso: "Yeahh."
Izzy: "Nah, nigga."
Me: "Yeah son, Kelsey loves asians!"
Izzy: "Nah, you mean Cauc-asians."
:::Everyone dies laughing::::

Potatoe smack you

It's Izzy boom, Kelso, and me in the kitchen eating and cracking jokes and I said something that made one wack...

Izzy: "You killed it, son."
Me: "Stfu, before I potatoe smack you."
Izzy: "What's potatoe smack you mean?"
Me: "When I pick up my potatoe and smack you with it."
Everyone laughs, Izzy: "How about I MEAT smack you?"
Me: "You killed it."
Izzy: ::serious face::: "No, YOU don't get it."
:::Everyone pauses::::
:::Everyone dies of laughter::::

lmao good times ♥

Something to look forward to

I saw this on my friend jennifer's page, and it reminded me of how much I love this quote from the movie "Juno"

"Good mood, bad mood,
Ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you,
the right person will sitll think the sun shines out your ass.
That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

Seventeen

I love their daily horoscopes and I just really felt like this applied to me.

gemini
(5/22-6/21)

daily single's
Thursday, January 8

That emotional baggage is becoming awfully heavy lately. What's with all the self-limiting inner babble? You're totally psyching yourself out right now. First things first, get out of the way. Now change the vernacular: reframe the negativity. Everything in your world rocks!