Friday, April 24, 2009

Quick note to self

" Think happy, be happy, live happy and life will alway's be a peach, sweet on the inside and fuzzy on the outside which is always a good thing right? ;] "

I remember the day I wrote that had later become one of the worst days of my life, but somehow I still believe in it completely. Last night and this morning were pretty rough for me. I still don't understand why, but c'est la vie. To be honest, I'm not even in a good mood right now, but I'm optimistic for tomorrow? Yes. "Whatever tomorrow brings.." Tomorrow brings a new day and new possibilities that I can't wait to see unravel. From the time right before I turned 16(some of the worst days of my life), I promised myself I would learn from every experience I face. I'm learning and I'm opening up my eyes to the people and things around me. Life has been punching me in the face since then, but would any of my happiness feel as good without all of the pain?

So I'm learning and I need to learn to have an open mind and heart. I need to learn to control my anger which has become an on-going problem for me, but seriously I'm hoping to conquer it and soon. It's a process, baby steps. I feel like I've won something and I find it weird, since there isn't anything going on in my life where I should feel like I have won. My chest hurts I feel like someones laying on top of me, but then I feel like I'm winning a battle against myself because I'm still holding onto the little things. It's the little things that count, it's my desire for extra that's my downfall. I always said I like being extra.<3

"Even your heart has a pace
Ah, but how much time are you gonna take?
Too much would be a mistake"

And the only one who will ever understand this post is me.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Try and stop me

4/15/09

I'm unstoppable now, the world's in my palm
Try to stop me, try to destroy me, I'm indestructable
My heart isn't functional so I can survive the storm you bring everytime your eyes look at mine with passion
Rain drops and wind of love and lies
You can't break me down now, my eyes are sahara dry
My body doesn't long for yours anymore
Beds no longer mean pleasure and pain to me
I lay in mine content with dry cheeks now
Mental health in tact, How it's been sweet without the vibrations of your voice in my ear
I've felt happiness since you haven't been here
Near my skin, You won't get in or under now
The games had just begun for you, but I finished them now,

I win

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Only you know

My hands were in his, holding on for pleasure's sake
No need to fake, at this moment I'm his, interwined in love's divine sister named lust
I've had him before once and now it's a must, now it's a need, and the only place I lose myself is through he
And we've gotten together regularly, but I'm not tired yet
And I don't think I can get tired of being so...
Oh, he's down in between, I'm feeling so much like I've never been here before
Every Single Time
He's opened a window I can't close, but I can't lie if I could I wouldn't even try
This is my ode to the way you've become a release I've never known and now you've show me a side of me that only you know
Smooth, the way you take me there, laying bare never felt as good as with you here,
With us nearing a climax that's sweet enough to make me climb up walls and then the moment falls, but I still feel your skin
I still feel it's a part of me now, deep within

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Teenagers and lust run hand in hand

Skin touching, laying down
This is where I lose myself
Lips touching, not a sound
This isn't good for my health

They're in the wind now, walking down a New York street
Steps in rythmic beat, holding onto one another
Just in case love is lost, but love is sweet
Love is deep and we've gone too deep for those two, they won't own up to a thing, since things left unsaid are best kept unsaid and emotions shouldn't run hand in hand with relationships
If hearts spilled secret this relationship would turn to shit and it would just be best if we keep this physical because he's still a wolf
Sheep's clothing isn't even necesary here
He's real, so if you're too sensitive it's best that you "man up"
So when he won't kiss you and his hand slips from yours when that cute little stylish chick is leaning against the train door across from you two and he moves just a bit away from you, "Stop being so sensitive"
Hold onto your pride, you know, the only pride that you feel you have left after that
Hold onto your emotions
Don't crack now! You volunteered for the ride
Just hold back now because the cute little way he flirts with another female
On the low though
Might just break you down if you're not a man enough woman to have no emotions yet give all you got
Sweetheart growing up is not just about giving up your childhood
It's about giving up yourself, too
Giving up to a man, a boy, who by any means really doesn't care about you
He cares about the moment, and your legs going seperate ways,
And those other girls? They're "not important"
Nah, they don't mean a thing, I mean,
Just when he gets bored.