Needy for male attention aren't we?

I found out something interesting today. I'm not going to get into details, I'm just going to say when does a female wanting full male attention on her go too far? Why is it that if attention switches to me just for a little it's a huge problem, people start crying themselves to sleep, yet can have a smile on they face when they know I'm feeling down? This is why I'm loving life right now because if I don't love it, who the hell else is going to do it for me. I can't trust anyone anymore and it's not like this is new to me, but damn, couldn't have been better proven today.

Since I'm on the subject of guys, lately, I find myself going out with a couple of them. No better way to describe this then, "Womp, womp, womppp!"

and then my ex told me this today, and he couldn't have said it better,

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:20 PM): ur mad cruel

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:25 PM): n blunt

J0hNzDaMaN (5:41:32 PM): ugh

no G please xD (5:44:31 PM): lol thats meeee :)

Thanks John, I always knew you get me. ;)

Back to what I was saying, I don't want to date! I want to hang out, chill, maybe kiss, maybe not. Like all girls, I just want to have fun. Wheres the excitement? Where's the adventure? Wheres the playing tag in West 4th street train station? (Oh, maybe that's just a me and Flavi thing) I'm seriously giving up on dating or hanging out with guys, you're all the same. Shutup, you are! Anddd you know it because I'm convinced that you each sit there and watch other guys and what they do and adapt them to your own in a quest to become the biggest asshole you possibly can. Don't like it? Hate me. Click the x at the right corner of your screen if you can't handle it hun.

So then Jeff Ims me...

legends1one (6:11:37 PM): I wonder about you sometimes
no G please xD (6:11:42 PM): lol why
legends1one (6:13:24 PM): Because you always say that you don't need a man in your life now. So what do you do for pleasure and fun? Girls..?
no G please xD (6:13:39 PM): im not into sexual activitieslol
no G please xD (6:13:45 PM): i just like kissing
no G please xD (6:13:51 PM): so thats the only thing im missing right now
no G please xD (6:14:05 PM): and i have guy friends that i go out and have fun with
no G please xD (6:14:13 PM): i dont need someone in my life to have fun
legends1one (6:15:06 PM): I know that.
legends1one (6:15:11 PM): I was just a lil curious about what you say connected to sexual activity.
legends1one (6:19:26 PM): Well how much can someone really get out kissing. There's only so much.
no G please xD (6:19:38 PM): i dont need much more
legends1one (6:22:23 PM): Hmm ok.
legends1one (6:24:38 PM): Sounds like your very content with your lifestyle
no G please xD (6:25:45 PM): lol i am
no G please xD (6:25:47 PM): im happy

legends1one (6:26:30 PM): That's good. As long as your happy.
no G please xD (6:27:50 PM): word

The sad thing is I'm a really, really sweet girl with a lot to offer, I just can't show that side of me to anyone because they'll take advantage of it. Deep down, I definately want something real (Someday, not now). I want to have someone who I wake up each morning thinking about and go to bed at night smiling because I know I have them. Someone who I can look to for support and understands when I need space. Someone who won't smother me or confuse themselves with being my father. Someone I can take long walks with while having long conversations or saying nothing at all. Someone I can be a corn around, comfortably. Someone who will play video games with me even though I suck and tickle me when I'm being a sore loser. Someone who can handle my random outburts, brain farts, and need for attention. Someone who I can take to a party and will dance with me and enjoy the night. Someone who I can bring home. Who will just sit back and listen to music with me and let me sing to them even though my voice sucks and sing to me even if their voice sucks. Who will stay on the phone for hours with me, but also accept when I want to get off. Who will send me little nothing texts that mean the world. Someone who will sit with me and barnesnnobles and read something or listen to music while I read even if they hate reading. Who will take interest in my interest and I will do the same. Who will trust me. Someone who won't play games with my emotions and will understand how long it takes me to open up and show any emotions at all. Who knows just where and when I want to be touched. Knows what hurts me and the lines not to pass. Knows that I can be a big bitch and knows thats when I need them the most. Who I can have petty arguements with and hang up on and will call me back saying something funny or sweet even when I'm the wrong one. Who will do something completely boring that doesnt interest them at all just because they know it's something I want to do. Who wants to show me off to their friends and isn't afraid to say "This is my girl and I'm most definately whipped", with a smile on their face (okay I ODed a little ;] ). Who will kiss me on my cheeks, nose, ears, and most importantly forehead, and play my little kissing games. Who will hold onto my hand or pull me close for no reason at all. Who won't force me into anything sexual and will form a bond with me thats beyond sex, but also someone who can please me sexually. Someone who I have a real attraction to. Who I can go out on plentiful dates with to places like the bowling alley, movies, restaurants, roller skating rinks, arcades, amusement parks, and more. Who will do little romantic things I wouldn't expect like bringing me flowers or cooking for me or just renting movies they know I love and stay at home and watch them with me. Who would never intentionally hurt me or lie to me and would never put their hands on me in more than a play fighting way. Someone who's just ready to hold me down and let me do the same for them. Someone who will let me be everything they need (or atleast try my best to be) as well. There's so much more, but to sum it up I must emphasize the point of something REAL.

Unfortunately, I guess I ask for a lot and these are some things no one thus far has been able to offer me, so for the time being, I'm living with a permanent smile on my face and I'm laughing away time. I make ME happy :) I love me. Point blank.